After graduating from Kent State in the Spring I was looking forward to having a break but also dreading it at the same time. I was excited about going to Colorado for a second time, but everything was up in the air after that was done. I was nervous about applying to physical therapy school, nervous about where I would work, what it would be like being at home for the longest amount of time in 3 years, and my list of concerns/fears/worries could continue. I knew that after graduating undergrad early I needed more than 2 days break before starting grad school for my mental health, but I was nervous about having a whole year break, it scared me, because in retrospect it seemed so long.
Fast forward to now, I am super thankful for this time away from school. In deciding to delay applying by a year, God was 10 steps ahead of me. When I got home from Colorado my grandpa was in the hospital after having a heart attack and stroke from the summer and wasn’t doing well. Being at home allowed me to spend some time with him, which was emotionally so hard for my entire family. I remember being in tears after almost every visit, and I could barely hold it together while I was in his room. On Labor Day he spoke last words to much of my family and passed away a few days later. Then in October my other grandpa had a bad fall while in the nursing home and went to the hospital. Afterwards he was receiving physical therapy and seemed to be on the right track and doing well but then passed away a few days later unexpectedly. I never would have guessed that I would lose both grandpa’s in such a short period of time, but I am thankful that I was not in school when all of it happened. I am grateful to have gotten to spend time with them before they passed and to spend time with my family through the grieving process that is definitely still present for my family as we learn to live without these two great people in our lives.
I’m also super thankful that I have been going through the application process to PT school while not having many other commitments other than working, because it has been so time consuming. To writing so many essays, having to apply to more schools because I didn’t get accepted via early admission, to going on weekend trips to interviews, the process started in July and is still not over (but hopefully will be ending in the next two weeks). God knew that if I did all of this in undergrad I would have been too stressed, especially since I never missed class because I would feel too guilty and because I cared so much.
Throughout this whole application process I’ve been praying to God to close and open doors, to give me either red or green lights. Initially I really thought I was supposed to go to this one particular school and applied via early admission, but God gave that a hard red light, which left me disappointed. I then applied to a bunch of places via regular admission and God once again gave me another red light for that same place. There was another school that I interviewed at and really liked, I thought it would be an environment where I would thrive, but God closed that door, which really surprised me. I received an acceptance for a school pretty early on in the process, which was a relief, but it was also stressful for me because of the cost. Since those red lights, God has continued to bless me and give more green lights for places which has been such a relief and an answer to prayer. He continues to give me affirmation that physical therapy is the profession where I am meant to be. I know that God is going to give me more lights in the next week or so as schools are making decisions before they leave for Christmas break. As He gives more green lights I’m going to have to choose one to take soon, which is hard, but I know that He has placed them there for a reason, and there might not actually be a wrong one to take.
In conclusion this season has helped me realize just how intentional God is. I’ve known He is intentional, but it always continues to amaze me. I never knew exactly what I needed, but God knew way in advance, and had purpose behind all the things that were once scary or unknown to me. The past few months have been difficult, but God has shown me that He is always with me through everything, and he hears me. I’ve been learning to find peace because He has been opening and closing doors and showing me that He has me exactly where He wants me to be. He knows me and He knows what is best for me. I never would have guessed what these past four months would consist of, but I’m thankful that He has been with me and delivered me through it all. He is good.