While I believe it is important to give thanks often, Thanksgiving always tends to make me intentionally reflect. The first thought that came to my mind was “Praise to the Father” for all God has done and continues to do. Looking at the past few years, His faithfulness is so evident. While I have no clue what I’m doing on this earth and what will be next after this master’s degree, I’m not really worried. God will make my paths straight like He always does, even if there are a few curves and rollercoasters along the way.
I’m reminded of moments where His presence in my life was so evident. I think back to last fall when I was working at Walmart and thought there was no way possible I would be able to attend a fall retreat. I was a newer employee and always worked weekends with a very random schedule. Somehow, without requesting any days off I had the last two days off of one week, and the first two days off of the next, making my schedule align to where I had the four days off to attend- which was so crazy at the time, but a reassurance that God wanted me to go. At this retreat I was able to witness one of my friends get saved!! Anyways, wow He is so crazy good!
This past summer about a month before grad school was supposed to start I received an e-mail from financial aid saying that I was not eligible for any type of federal money. As a result of choosing to withdraw from the physical therapy program, even though I withdrew because it wasn’t the right fit not because of poor grades, my academic progress was deemed insufficient because of withdrawing. I was super panicked as I had been awarded a graduate assistantship and didn’t know if it would be affected. I was questioning how I would even be able to actually attend school again. The same day I got this news from the financial aid office I was meeting on videochat with my new small group leaders for the first time. I cried (what a great first impression hahahah), they prayed for me, and in the next few days all was well. Looking back, the fact that God granted me a graduate assistantship before getting this news about financial aid was crazy to me, because I had no idea that my financial aid would be affected. This reassured me that I was on the right path, that He truly wanted me to be in this program, and that He was working all things together for my good.
I think back to when I withdrew from the physical therapy program and was applying for every job under the sun because I just needed something to pay bills. I think I applied for over 15 jobs, and God made me wait for a while before anything happened. I remember being so confused at the time as to why I was not hearing back from server jobs because I had a decent amount of service experience. Now with Covid-19 I am so thankful that I didn’t get a server job. I’m reminded how He knows what is best for us. I’m reminded of my narrow and limited vision, how God can see so much further into the future than we can, and therefore knows just what we need.
I could probably go on and on about ways in which God has been faithful to me. He gives me so many reasons to praise Him, and I probably don’t praise Him as often or as much as I should. I forget, doubt, lack trust, and question. I am a sinner so in need of His love and grace. Last year, whenever I was feeling uncertainty about the future, a mentor would remind me of ways God had been faithful to me. She would challenge me to look at what He had already done, how far He had brought me. I struggle with wanting to serve God and be used by Him, but not having faith that He will use me in this place or where I am at. Sometimes I question why He has me in this place and what I am supposed to do here. When my sinful nature and doubts creep in, I’m reminded to cling to His faithfulness and give thanks. He has blessed me with more than I deserve and loves with a love so unique and wondrous. He reminds me of His intentionality and how He is in control- how He is the one with the pen writing the story- I am just along for the adventure. This Thanksgiving I’m reminded to praise Him for what was, what is, and what is to come. I’m thankful that He has given purpose and meaning to this life and I’m excited for whatever adventure He has planned next.
Faith in the Unseen 